It All Began With An iPhone....

It all began with an iPhone...

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone.

He just loved it.  Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

 

My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

September came by so for her birthday I got my wife an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started......

What the wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. 

This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

A Little Humour....

This one had me burst out laughing....Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye.

After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it. Jabu's answer was: "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep in the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye."

So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer". The following morning Jabu comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief.

But the day after that Jabu comes back with a severe black eye again. "My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?" He tells her: "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'Jabu are you sleeping?... And I shut up and kept dead still.

Then my father and my mother started moving{you know} at the same time Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a demented hyena on the bed"... Then my father asks my mother: 'Are you coming?' Then my mom says, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered 'Yes'. They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me!'.....=))

Why Italians Pass Their Handguns Down....

An old Italian man is dying.  He calls his grandson to his bedside.

"Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man... Whatta fuck are you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's Up'?"

Married Almost 70 Years...

An elderly gentleman was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms Such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'.

The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, ‘Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'

A Very Touching and True Story...

This is based on a true story.........it's very touching. U have to read... Enjoy...

A rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner. 

When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."

So in this way, their love won and they returned home.

The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress.......

He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shocked. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.

Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.

Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired. In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?"

The old lady replied...

"Try DYNAMO Liquid Soap... just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!" ...

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home, he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?  We have:

Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95.'

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed saleslady rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.'

How to keep a woman happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.  A man only needs to be: 

1. A good friend
2. A constant companion
3. A creative lover
4. A good father
5. A pest exterminator
6. A good listener
7.Generous

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
8. Give her compliments regularly
9. Love shopping
10. Be honest
11. Be very rich
12. Not stress her out
13. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
14. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
15. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
16. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
17. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1.  Leave him alone.