Suckers!

An old man lived

 alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:

For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad:

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Bubba

 

Sweet Revenge

A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

"Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"

"To kill my husband."

"I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"

The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position.

The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife.

He takes the photo, and nods. "I didn't realize you had a prescription!"

Birthday Party

A lady is throwing a Birthday party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out.. a caterer, band, and a hired clown.

Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout.

Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out back.

Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house.

The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time.

But the clown hadn't shown up.

After a half and hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.

The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself.

She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn.

She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did mid-air flips, and leaped high in the air.

She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous.  I have never seen such a thing.

Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him \$50!"

The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. 'HEY WILLIE! FOR \$50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"

He Said To Me!

He said to me ........ I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it

I said to him ........ You wear pants don't you?

He said to me ................ Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

I said.............. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart.

He said to me...... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

I said to him ....... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

 

He said to me....... Why don't women blink during foreplay?

I said to him .... They don't have time.

 

He said to me.... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

I said to him....... I don't know; it has never happened.

 

He said to me... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

I said to him...... They already have boyfriends.

 

He said.....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

I said..... A widow.

 

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?

I said to him....... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

DEDICATE THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

Cool stuff & Affordable

Hi there!!

I found this website and have ordered a few stuff from its safe website.  All items are so cool and affordable.  I'd like to share with all the viewers and call out to everyone to order its cool stuff! No hassle and it's so easy to order plus there's no minimum order.  Order as much as you one or may be you want to start a small business online, this is the website where you can start!  Try it bloggers and you'll love it!!  I know I did!

Worried Husbands

4 husbands were sitting at the waiting room in a hospital while waiting for their wives birth giving. 

Then a nurse came out and told to the first daddy, "Congratulation, you got twins!"

"Ohh.. maybe its a coincident" said the daddy. "I am working with the Petronas Twin Towers."

Then another nurse came out and told to the second daddy, "Congratulation! You have triplets!"

"Wooow!, this is a coincident too" said the second daddy. "I am working for 3M Corporation."

Another nurse came out and told the third daddy, "Congratulation! Isteri you dapat kembar empat (Your wife have quartet)."

"Alhamdulillah! Maybe this is also a coincident". "I kerja (work) di (at) Four Season Hotel!"

While, the fourth daddy-to-be were in uncontrolled worry.

All the 3 daddies asked him, "Why are you seems so worry??"

He answered, "I am working with Seven-Eleven!"

My Time's UP?

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live ."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded,

"I thought you said I had another 43 years.

Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

(You'll love this)

God replied:

"I didn't recognize you!"

Moral of the story:

Avoid over MAKE UP ….. :)